Certain long-running TV shows end up becoming a part of pop culture forever, and Gilmore Girls is definitely in that category. The beloved WB series has been watched and re-watched countless times by fans since its inception, with Netflix eventually producing a four-part event series titled Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life. And while I’m a hardcore fan who loves Stars Hallow and its residents, there are 32 moments where Lauren Graham’s Lorelai Gilmore is the absolute worst and doesn’t realize it.
This isn’t to say that I hate Lorelai, but she makes plenty of mistakes during the show’s seven-season run, as well as A Year in the Life. The three titular Gilmore Girls are flawed, which is why fans love them so much. That being said below are some moments where Lorelai messed things up. We’ll just have to wait and see if Gilmore Girls ever returns, and if Lorelai changed at all.
Running away from her wedding with Max.
Lorelai has plenty of dating foibles throughout Gilmore Girls‘ run, and can sometimes be the problem when things go wrong. This was definitely the case back in Season 2, where Lorelai and Rory fled town to avoid her wedding to Max. Poor guy.
Fighting with Rory about how she lost her virginity.
While Rory and Lorelai are best friends in addition to their mother/daughter connection, occasionally they have disagreements during Gilmore Girls. And there are few bigger explosions than in Season 4, where Lorelai comes home and finds Rory and Dean in bed. Since Dean is a married man, she tells her daughter off, resulting in Rory crying and her first time being soured.
Not letting Emily and Richard be in Rory’s life.
One big plot point throughout Gilmore Girls is Lorelai’s strained relationship with her parents and their lifestyle. But her aversion to Richard and Emily can sometimes hold Rory back from being closer to her grandparents, which just feels icky to me.
Marrying Christopher in Paris.
Christopher and Lorelai were high school sweethearts who suddenly got pregnant as teenagers. The timing was always wrong for them, until it wasn’t. At that point (and coming off the heels of Lorelai’s engagement to Luke) they spontaneously got married in Paris, without even Rory there to celebrate.
Giving Luke the ultimatum.
Luke and Lorelai were endgame since the first episode of Gilmore Girls, with fans waiting years before they finally got together. But when they did there were some issues, especially related to them delaying their engagement and Luke’s focus on his daughter, April. Eventually, Lorelai gets fed up and gives him an ultimatum, resulting in their break-up.
Interrupting town meetings.
Lorelai is known for her quick wit and sense of humor, with jokes often poking fun at her loved ones and strangers alike. And whenever she and Rory are at Stars Hollow town meeting, they’re sure to interrupt things, go on rants, and make poor Taylor into a basket case.
Body shaming people in A Year in the Life.
While the Gilmore Girls can do basically no wrong in my book, there are a few moments of theirs which haven’t aged well. Case in point: the opening moments of “Summer” from A Year in the Life, where Lorelai and Rory spent time judging their fellow Stars Hollow residents’ bodies while sitting at the community pool.
Mocking a Broadway show.
If there’s one thing Lorelai likes to do during Gilmore Girls, it’s to mock those around her. That includes in Season 3 when she travels to New York to see a Broadway show with Sookie, Jackson, and her date Alex. But they mock the show and call it garbage right in front of the theater, where anyone could hear them.
Refusing to get involved at Chilton.
Throughout the first three seasons of Gilmore Girls, we watch as Rory tries to acclimate to life at her fancy prep school Chilton. While Lorelai asks Emily and Richard to pay in exchange for Friday Night dinners, she also refuses to get involved in the school, ultimately being strong-armed by Headmaster Charleston himself to join the Booster Club.
Initially refusing Yale, even after Rory showed interest.
Since Lorelai has such deep issues related to her parents and upbringing, she gets triggered whenever Rory bonds with them. So when it was revealed that Rory applied to Yale aka Richard’s alma matter, she wasn’t happy. At least, not at first.
Staying overnight with Rory after dropping her off at college.
In Season 4 of Gilmore Girls, Rory moves out of the house and into her first dorm at Yale. While the episode “Lorelai’s First Day at Yale” is fun, it also shows how codependent they are. I mean, what mother stays overnight after dropping off their kid at college?
When A Year in the Life was announced by Netflix, fans wondered how the show would handle the death of Richard Gilmore actor Edward Hermann. The answer was by killing off Richard, and during “Fall” we saw Lorelai fail to mention a happy memory of her father after the funeral, resulting in a huge fight with Emily.
Letting Rory lie for her to Luke.
Lorelai is a great mother, but she definitely makes a few mistakes throughout the run of Gilmore Girls. In Season 5 she visits with Christopher after his father dies. While they just drink and hang out, she keeps it from Luke… and even lets Rory lie for her to cover it up.
Not wanting to spend Thanksgiving with the Gilmores.
“A Deep-Fried Korean Thanksgiving” is an episode I watch annually around the titular holiday, and it’s a blast watching the Gilmore Girls eat their way through four dinners. But Lorelai wanting to blow off her family for Thanksgiving never sat right with me, and wasn’t a great example to set for Rory. Just let your parents love you, Lorelai!
Mocking bed and breakfasts when she works in hospitality.
While Lorelai likes to mock everyone and anything, sometimes her biases make no sense. When she and Rory visit a bed and breakfast on their road trip away from her wedding, she pokes fun at them incessantly. But since she also works in hospitality, this seems like a kind of a jerk move.
Her speech at Lane and Zack’s wedding.
When Lane and Zack get married in Season 6, it’s a big event. During the party in the Town Square, Lorelai gets drunk and makes a speech referencing how she and Luke will seemingly never tie the knot themselves. Luckily the entire town covers up for her.
Making Luke do a ton of housework for her birthday every year.
It’s fun seeing how relatively useless Lorelai is around the house, as someone who doesn’t cook, paint, or anything else. It’s revealed that every year on her birthday she gives Luke a huge list of chores around the house, which is a little rude considering she knows he was in love with her the whole time.
Letting Paul Anka run the house.
In Season 6 of Gilmore Girls Lorelai adopts a dog in the midst of her separation from Rory. Paul Anka was a beloved new character for the show, but Lorelai unsurprisingly was terrible at training him. If anything, the dog ran the house for the rest of the series, thanks to his hilarious quirks.
Calling Pennilynn Lott her “almost Mommy.”
There are a number of entries on this list where Lorelai offended her mother, and this is no exception. In Season 4 the Gilmore family attends the Yale/Harvard game, where Richard runs into his college sweetheart, Pennilynn Lott. With no regard for Emily’s feelings, she refers to her as her “almost mommy” and contributes to a huge fight between Emily and Richard.
Hiding her letter for Luke from Christopher.
Lorelai tries to avoid conflict a lot in Gilmore Girls, which can often make the problems in her life that much worse. When she writes a letter defending Luke in his custody case, she hides it from her husband Christopher. Eventually, the drama boils over and the two men have a fistfight in the Stars Hollow town square.
Not speaking to Rory for most of Season 6.
Season 6 of Gilmore Girls is a controversial one for fans, as the two titular characters were feuding for the majority of its episodes. And while they both have reason to be upset, I ultimately blame Lorelai because she’s the parent/adult in the situation.
Judging other people’s taste in music, movies etc.
Part of what makes Gilmore Girls such a fun viewing experience is the super quick dialogue, which is usually filled with a number of pop culture references. And while Lorelai helped fill her house with music for Rory, she sure does judge a lot of people’s tastes throughout the series.
Keeping her distance with Logan.
Given how close Lorelai and Rory are, it’s hard for Lauren Graham’s character to separate herself from her daughter’s personal life at times. And because of Logan’s backstory and how she met him, she failed to really ever get close with the heir to the Huntzberger legacy.
Asking the entire town of Stars Hollow to take in strangers after the Inn fire.
In Season 3 of Gilmore Girls, the Independence Inn has a giant fire. It’s a total disaster, and in that moment of need, Lorelei somehow convinced the entire town of Stars Hollow to take guests into their homes for days at a time.
Messing with Emily’s maids.
One consistent running joke throughout all of Gilmore Girls is that Emily is constantly firing and hiring her maids. But Lorelai adds insult to injury by messing with them various times. And yes, the results are hilarious.
Not getting Luke a souvenir from Europe.
When Rory and Lorelai went on their backpack trip, they returned with a special gift for everyone in Stars Hollow. Well, everyone except poor Luke. Once again our favorite Diner owner got the shaft, and he deserved better.
Constantly terrorizing Michel at the Inn(s).
Lorelai loves messing with people, to the delight of both herself and the audience. And that includes her employees, like poor Michel. Sure he has an attitude problem, but maybe that’s because of the high jinx he’s forced to endure!
Never given Jess a chance.
The biggest debate among Gilmore Girls fans is which of Rory’s three boyfriends is the best. I’m personally #TeamJess, but Lorelai never was. She wrote him off after his terrible first impression, and things never really got that warm between the two of them.
Ruining the baptism for Sookie’s twins.
In Season 6 of Gilmore Girls when Lorelai and Rory aren’t talking, a number of other characters try and bring them together. Melissa McCarthy’s Sookie does this by making them each a godmother of one of her twins. But they start arguing in the middle of the ceremony, eventually leaving with the kids to talk outside. And that argument was started by Lorelai.
Calling Christopher during her bachelorette party.
When Lorelai was preparing to marry Max, she had a bachelorette party at a drag bar, with even Emily herself attending! But prior to ditching the wedding, she started to self-sabotage by calling Christopher from the bar. We should have known then that she wouldn’t walk down the aisle.
Messing with the seating chart for Emily and Richard’s wedding.
There are few people that Lorelai likes tormenting more than her mother Emily. So when she and Richard were preparing to renew their vows, she took the opportunity to ruin her seating chart. Not only was this a little mean, but it ended up costing the wedding planner her job. Oops.
Yelling at Dean after his break-up with Rory.
Lorelai sometimes has boundary problems, especially where Rory is involved. So when her daughter experiences her first heartbreak when she and Dean briefly break up early in Gilmore Girls‘ run, she sees red. Lorelai goes into this teenage boy’s place of work and yells at him, and it’s all very weird.
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