WARNING | This story contains details of abuse.
A man who was sexually assaulted as a teen by his high school football coach says he’ll never forgive his abuser and will continue to suffer from “a lifetime of trauma.”
The former football player took several deep breaths in a Winnipeg courtroom on Tuesday as he detailed how he was groomed for six years and was sexually assaulted by Kelsey McKay.
“Some people take the time to forgive their abuser in these things. But not me,” said the now-adult victim, who suffers from post-traumatic stress-disorder, severe anxiety and depression.
“In my mind, nobody who has harmed a child ever deserves to be forgiven.”
McKay, 53, pleaded guilty last year to 11 charges related to the abuse of nine former players while he worked as a teacher and coach at Vincent Massey Collegiate and Churchill High School in Winnipeg.
He appeared in a Manitoba provincial courtroom on Tuesday in front of Judge Raymond Wyant for the first day of his sentencing hearing.
CBC News is not naming him, or the other victims, because of a publication ban.
Crown attorney Katie Dojack is seeking a 25-year sentence for McKay, who was arrested on April 12, 2022, and has since pleaded guilty to nine counts of sexual assault and two amended charges of luring for offences that happened between 2003 and 2016.
“This case is about power and control,” Dojack told the court. “Each of these victims have been sentenced to a lifetime of harm and suffering.”
The former player said in his victim impact statement that he faces “a constant battle.”
“I tried to pretend that it didn’t happen,” he said.
‘I just hate what you did to me’
Four of McKay’s victims and some of their family members were in court on Tuesday to deliver victim impact statements, including the mother of a man who took his own life nearly two decades after McKay’s abuse.
She said she wonders how no one could have seen what was happening to her son.
“I cannot go a day without thinking of him,” she told court, detailing how her son struggled with alcohol and substance use issues prior to his death in 2022.
“This was the beginning of the end.”
Court also heard a recording of the statement the man gave to police in April 2022 about McKay’s abuse. In it, he said he wanted McKay to get help.
“He has absolutely destroyed parts of my life that I’m never going to get back,” he said in the recording.
“I don’t hate you, I just hate what you did to me.… What you did is absolutely unforgivable and sickening.”
The man’s sister wiped away tears as she spoke about the loss of her brother.
“Every day, I’m devastated,” she said. “I feel pain thinking about my brother and the pain and abuse that he had to endure when he was in a setting where adults were supposed to be trusted.”
The 11 offences McKay pleaded guilty to happened when most of the victims were between 15 and 18 years old. In an agreed statement of facts, Dojack said McKay would invite the players to his home, where he would show them pornography, massage them and touch their genitals.
McKay would also text the players and drive them to school, court heard. Some of them had troubled home lives and viewed McKay as a role model or father figure.
‘Intimidating presence’
McKay, who was represented by defence lawyer Josh Weinstein, was a prominent figure in Winnipeg’s football community. He was promoted to head coach at Churchill High School in 2003 and left the school to go to Vincent Massey Collegiate in Winnipeg in 2009.
Dojack said he had an “intimidating presence” and “old-school coaching style.”
Dr. Jonathan Rootenberg, a forensic psychiatrist based in Toronto who spoke with McKay, testified that McKay acknowledged he was attracted to boys in their late teens, but claimed he was no longer attracted to them.
“Many sex offenders … don’t understand that [their] interests might not go away on their own,” Rootenberg told court.
He said how likely McKay is to reoffend will depend on how he responds to any psychiatric treatment he gets.
Court has not yet heard what sentence McKay’s defence lawyer is seeking.
The hearing continues Wednesday.
WATCH | Sentencing hearing begins for football coach who abused players:
The sentencing hearing for a former high school football coach who sexually abused nine of his players began in Winnipeg on Tuesday. Kelsey McKay coached at Vincent Massey Collegiate and Churchill High school, and pleaded guilty to sexual assault and luring last year. Four of his victims were in court to face him during the sentencing, including one who detailed how he was groomed for years and sexually assaulted by McKay.
Support is available for anyone who has been sexually assaulted. You can access crisis lines and local support services through this government of Canada website or the Ending Violence Association of Canada database. If you’re in immediate danger or fear for your safety or that of others around you, please call 911.
If you or someone you know is struggling, here’s where to get help:
Source Agencies
