9am: No amount of smooth jazz can smooth over the fact that it’s been two hours, and I’ve made no progress. Desperate to regain some form of control, I decide to hang up if no one answers in the next five minutes. You may not take my call, but you cannot take my time.
9.10am: Ten minutes have passed, and I can’t shake the feeling that I am close now. I must be; I can sense it. Either way, I can’t hang up; they know it, and I know it. I’ve committed so much of my morning to this godforsaken phone call; the only option is to soldier on. This is a classic example of the Sunk Cost Fallacy: our tendency to follow through on something that we’ve already invested heavily in (be it time, money, effort, emotional energy, etc.), even when giving up, is clearly a better idea. This is another thing I Google while on hold.
Your call is not important to us. It never was, and it never will be.Credit: Michael Howard
9.15am: The automated voice checks back in to remind me that all the operators are busy (indeed!), but they can hold my place in the queue and call me back. This suggestion feels two hours too late, and I say, NO, NO, A THOUSAND TIMES NO! In a last-ditch attempt to offload my query, they point me towards the live chatbot on their website, which “can handle most simple inquiries.”
9.17am: No matter how I phrase my inquiry, the live chatbot replies, “Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that.” Eventually, I lash out, marking my first fight with AI.
9.27am: A man named Scott answers the phone and apologises for the wait. I’m so glad to hear a voice that I tell him it’s completely fine and hasn’t been that long, really. It’s been 2 hours and 27 minutes.
9.32am Scott has my issue sorted in five minutes. He’s so polite and helpful that I immediately feel bad for all the awful thoughts I had about anyone associated with this company over the last two and a half hours. He says, “Is there anything else I can help you with today?” I pause. A long silence stretches out between us. “I’ll be with you in a minute,” I can’t help but reply.
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