All Right, Here Are The Funniest Tweets From This Weekend – MASHAHER

last night there was a party in my apartment and while i was making a sandwich in the kitchen someone i don’t know came up to me and said “are you allowed to do that”

— Dirk Fuckner 🚯 (@timerube) August 18, 2024

i feel like i would’ve crushed it in ancient greece….yayyyy buying olive oil yayyyy walking to the agora yayyyy sleeping with my hot neighbor because both our shithead husbands died at sea yayyyy pouring out wine for a goddess so she doesn’t turn me into a spider

— Meg (@megannn_lynne) August 17, 2024

D was probably like “lmao ok” when they named the alphabet the ABCs

— chase (@_chase_____) August 16, 2024

Apparently they check bags at the movies now tell me why I admitted to all my snacks talmbout some “Ok wait, i can explain, it’s just cheetos and wine” and the cop was confused as hell assuring me “Ma’am we are searching for weapons” pic.twitter.com/bQ7p3blD5T

— Grip Bayless✨ (@talleyberrybaby) August 16, 2024

Absolutely hate to admit this, but I haven’t felt fly like a G6 in a long time

— biz (@bizzedmypants) August 17, 2024

sneaking therapy tips into conversation with my mom like how u give a dog a pill wrapped in cream cheese

— Isabel Steckel (@IsabelSteckel) August 16, 2024

My 6-year-old is whining because she wants a snack and she yelled “BUT I’M STARVING” and I said “Starving for attention” and she was so taken aback that she just left.

— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) August 16, 2024

golf players be freaky asf “im working on my stroke” ok gross maybe keep some things to yourself bro

— gilbert (@memetazaa) August 17, 2024