Our new neighbours have two cars but choose to leave their driveway empty. Instead, they park their second car in front of our house. This means that we have to find somewhere else in the street to park our second car. How do I broach this topic with them?
P.O., Newport, Vic
Credit: Illustration by Simon Letch
Lotsa cars on your street. It must be like living in an airport’s long-term car park with a shuttle bus every 15 minutes to get you to your house. But how about trying this: start parking your second car in front of another neighbour’s house and see how they broach the topic with you. It’s a classic problem-solving technique called Passing the Broach. If they approach the broach in a clever, chummy way, then use that exact same broach-approach on the new neighbours who are parking in front of your house. Of course the danger here is that the other neighbours may approach the broach in an angry, aggressive way and then you’ll be racked with Broach Approach Self-Reproach.
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If this happens, you’ll need to lurk around your front window like a sneaky little peeker and wait until the new neighbours drive off in their second car. Then you can race outside and move your second car from the front of the angry neighbour’s house to the front of your own house and leave it there permanently. Let it rust and rot until you move house or die; it’s a classic parking-resolving technique called The Second Car Sacrifice.
Of course, the concern here is you may have to buy a third car because you sacrificed the second. If you do, park the third car in front of the house of the neighbours across the street. You’ve gone this far, you might as well bring the whole neighbourhood down with you.
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