We signed a relationship contract 8-years ago covering money, sex and housework – MASHAHER

A couple has signed a relationship contract that establishes responsibilities for housework, finances and even sex.

Rosie Morrell, 41, and Marcus White, 51, have used the contract since their relationship began, eight years ago.

The couple, who share a home, both signed the agreement and have regular meetings to amend it.

It outlines the division of household chores, stipulating that washing, cooking and tidying up are all done by Rosie, while household maintenance is Marcus’ responsibility.

It includes a list of everything they own – so there are no disputes about who keeps what in the event of a separation – and an agreement on keeping separate bank accounts.

Sexual desires and needs are also governed in the contract, which the couple says encourages them to be more open with each other.

Finally, the contract lists the couple’s respective triggers, such as Marcus not raising the tone of his voice to Rosie and her not explaining things to Marcus clearly.

They say it aims to allow them to resolve any issues, as well as listing the responsibilities and obligations they have to each other.

While it might sound unusual, Rosie and Marcus say it is an essential part of maintaining their healthy relationship.

“When we were drawing up the agreement, it did initially feel a bit unromantic but we believe passionately about needing clear clarification of things,” Rosie, a sex therapist from Dorchester, explains. “We have a document that we’ve both signed and we amend it during a scheduled meeting. It sounds like a job, but essentially you need to work at relationships.”

Marcus, a life coach, adds: “The core part of the contract is really where we want to resolve things. There might be things we both do that we’re not happy with. So the issues that keep coming up we list those issues in the contract and what we expect of each other.

“Whatever kind of relationship you’re constructing you need a clear understanding of what you expect of each other. It [the contract] just puts that in writing. It’s a good exercise for anybody.”

The couple believe having the contract helps them get to the root cause of the problem, rather than simply brushing over them.

“Honesty is the core of any relationship so the contract facilitates that,” Marcus explains. “The bulk of the contract has to do with how we affect each other emotionally. All the things that irritate one other. People tolerate ongoing problems for years but we want to resolve that.”

Marcus sites the example of him sometimes struggling with anger and being a bit arrogant at times. “Rosie doesn’t have those problems,” he says. “She has tidiness, organisation, discipline and not thinking before she speaks, for example. So all these things are built in our contract for us to work on.”

Rosie adds: “Marcus is slightly autistic and likes things explained clearly and I sometimes get words wrong and that can really trigger him. He will then have a slight tone when he responds so I then get triggered with the tone. Any other couple might sweep those minor things under the carpet, but that can end up in a row.”

The inclusion of their intimate needs was a “difficult conversation,” says Rosie. “But, it really helps us maintain the honesty and remove the stigma.”

Though they aren’t married, the couple say it is beneficial for them financially to have a record of their assets.

“We’ve got a spreadsheet of all the things I own and things that I may have bought, and Marcus may have bought,” says Rosie.

Excerpts from Rosie and Marcus’ contract terms:

• We are committed to 100% honesty at all times, even if it is something that is difficult to say or hear. For example being honest about being attracted to other people.

• We are committed to fully resolving every issue that arises in our relationship to the point that we are both completely comfortable with the solution. This includes everything from the trivial things such as someone being untidy, to the deepest issues such as what we really want and expect from each other.

• We are committed to supporting whatever the other seeks to do in their life, as far as we are able. For example even in the extreme case of us wanting to separate and start new relationships, we would support each other in this and give our blessings.

• We each have our own individual property and bank accounts, such that no one has any right to the other’s assets.

Additional reporting SWNS.

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