Dear Aunty,
Recently you answered a letter about working with someone with bad breath and how to go about dealing with that. My issue is worse. I work in an office with four men (one of whom is my manager) and all day, every day I deal with them burping, passing gas and sometimes making what I consider lewd comments about what I am wearing. They say they are just joking around and having a laugh but I grew up with three brothers and they didn’t behave this way. Is there anything that can be done? Or would you deem them lost causes? In which case, am I better to start looking for a new job now?
Yours, Irritated
Well, my dear, as you know your Aunt does not suffer fools gladly, so One would likely give those four buffoons a piece of One’s mind before telling them they can stick their job where the sun don’t shine and storming out the door, never to be seen again.
But as a disclaimer, One should point out One has never really been able to hold down a steady job that involved being in proximity to other people for too long. One blames One’s dancing career for that. Sometimes when One was travelling the world with One’s internationally renowned cancan troupe, the cramped conditions were so extreme that we’d end up squished three to a bed. One would often wake up with someone’s toenail jammed up One’s nostril. And someone else’s saliva on One’s pillow. It was never a great way to start the day, One can tell you.
And then there were the personality clashes, lack of respect for personal space or property, and acts of sabotage that went on behind the scenes.
More than a decade of that lifestyle was almost enough to put your Aunt off human beings for life. And even now, One can only deal with people in small doses.
That is why your Aunt is so thankful that One now only needs to deal with others via email. People seem to appreciate your Aunt much more from afar and vice versa.
So back to your problem of working with a group of men who seem to have forgotten there has been tens of thousands of years worth of evolution between us and the Neanderthal. Your Aunt is almost tempted to tell you to beat them at their own game and start belching and passing wind as loudly and obnoxiously as possible. After all, we all do it, but the polite among us choose to do it discreetly. It’s funny how often these sorts of knuckle-grazing chauvinistic men get inexplicably upset by women mirroring their behaviours. They almost see it as an affront to their sense of masculinity, which, quite frankly, is the most fragile form. This is precisely why they find it so necessary to keep showcasing just how “manly” they are with these outdated chest-beating activities.
One might suggest in another scenario that you talk to your manager about the behaviour but, given your manager is part of the problem, One would advise you not to waste your breath. These men are not your problem to fix and, really, they don’t deserve your time or energy. You deserve a lot better, and trust your Aunt when One says most workplaces are nothing like this.
One is fully convinced that once you are out of that environment, you will wish you had left sooner. So, brush up the CV, treat yourself to a killer interview outfit, and go and see what else is out there. One doubts very much you’ll ever look back.
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