If we are, as some scientists have hypothesized, living in a multiverse in which all possible outcomes occur along some timeline, then we can still rest easy knowing that our lives are in fact unique and special and touched by some higher power because in no other possible universe could what happened in Nashville on Saturday happen again.
A week ago, Alabama escaped Georgia in what seemed like the best game of the year, a harbinger that the Tide dynasty didn’t end with Nick Saban’s departure, it was simply a changing of the guard to Kalen DeBoer’s Bama.
And on Saturday, the king was replaced again, usurped by the court jester’s good-for-nothing roommate.
Vanderbilt did the impossible, knocking off No. 1 Alabama 40-35 in a game that may not technically qualify as the biggest upset in the sport’s modern era, but certainly fits the bill in spirit.
Nothing about Week 6 screamed drama. It was a week in which just one pair of top-25 teams met on the field, and that turned out to be a snooze, as Texas A&M romped over Missouri. The other powers — Georgia, Penn State, Ole Miss, Oregon — seemed to sleepwalk to easy enough wins.
And then there was Vandy — not the hero we wanted, but the one we deserved.
That Alabama found itself suffering through a hangover in Nashville is no surprise. The win over Georgia had felt so seismic, an exclamation point for a program used to making statements.
By halftime, the hangover looked a bit more serious than we might’ve expected, but by the time Kamrean Johnson hauled in a 6-yard touchdown pass from Diego Pavia with 5:07 to play we’d reached all-time status.
And yet, it still felt almost inevitable that Alabama would find a way — just as it had a week ago, behind quarterback Jalen Milroe’s arm and receiver Ryan Williams’ magic.
Then Pavia threw a 19-yard completion.
Then Sedrick Alexander ran for 13 yards through the teeth of Alabama’s flummoxed defense.
Then Pavia scrambled for 8 yards and a first down with 1:10 to play, and all Vandy had to do was take a knee to secure its first win over a top-five opponent in 60 tries.
It was the type of mythical David-over-Goliath win they write songs about, if only Nashville had any song writers.
For the Commodores, there were so many small storylines that felt, in retrospect, like genuine foreshadowing. There was Clark Lea’s promise in the summer of 2022 that Vandy would one day be the best program in the country. He might as well have told the assembled masses at SEC Media Days that Nick Saban was going to retire and start riding around in a van with his dog solving mysteries. It was nonsensical. And yet, here we are, witness to Vandy toppling the No. 1 team in the nation.
It was less than 11 months ago that Pavia and Jerry Kill led New Mexico State into Jordan-Hare Stadium and utterly embarrassed Auburn. Now both are at Vandy — Pavia as QB, Kill as advisor to Lea — and they’ve beaten Bama, too. Pavia yelled into a microphone on live television that Nashville would be “f—ing turnt” and somehow that seemed a perfectly natural — subdued even — reaction to what happened, but also an earned celebration for a kid who grew up idolizing Johnny Manziel and dreaming of a moment like this. That Kill has helped turn around both New Mexico State and Vandy in consecutive years is probably enough evidence to warrant sandblasting Jefferson off Mt. Rushmore and carving out Kill’s likeness instead.
In its opener this season, Vandy escaped Virginia Tech in part because it got a second chance after the Hokies inexplicably sent two players onto the field wearing the same jersey number during a Vanderbilt punt. The Commodores eventually turned that second chance into a touchdown in a game ultimately won by one possession. And on Saturday, the same thing happened. The difference between 3-2 Vandy with two epic wins and 1-4 Vandy being completely ignored on the national stage is literally another team’s laundry.
It was another résumé win for a school whose résumé previously just read: “Technically a football team.” For virtually the entirety of its history, Vandy was essentially the SEC’s version of the dead body at the start of each episode of “Law & Order.” It’s essential to the plot of the show, but they’re not supposed to have any dialogue and mostly exist to allow the stars to make a few dark jokes. And now the Commodores have wins over Virginia Tech and Alabama, a narrow defeat to a top-10 Missouri and a close loss to an unspecified team from Georgia. (Let them have their moment.)
What was most exhilarating and confounding though was Vandy absolutely deserved this win. It had nine more first downs than Bama. It ran for more yards, often straight up the gut against a Tide front that looked a shell of what we saw a week ago against Georgia. It refused to let drives die, converting 13-of-19 third- and fourth-down tries, and as a result, the ‘Dores held the football for more than 42 minutes.
And when it was all over, Vandy not only rushed the field, not only celebrated with its fans and basked in the win and cursed on live TV, but it had the gumption to stick it to Bama’s former coach, replaying a Saban sound byte in which he said the only easy venue in the SEC was at Vanderbilt.
NO WAY#Vandy played this quote from Nick Saban after the upset over Alabama:
“The only place that’s not hard to play in the SEC is Vanderbilt.” pic.twitter.com/QDfGufSQol
— Billy Derrick (@billyderrick10) October 5, 2024
Whichever staffer on Vanderbilt’s stadium ops crew dug up that clip in advance of the win needs to be carried down Broadway like a conquering hero.
It is fair to suggest this isn’t your father’s Vandy team (or, more accurately, the Vandy team from the last time you wore that sport coat hanging in your closet). Lea has these ‘Dores playing good football. Pavia is a swashbuckling underdog who’s entirely deserving of Manziel’s mantle. And, as is required by federal law to note in situations like this, there are no easy weeks in the SEC, despite Saban’s now infamous hot take.
But make no mistake, this was a genuine one-in-a-million outcome — not because Vandy is bad or Alabama is preordained or because this weekend seemed so entirely fluke-proof. All of those things could be true and they still wouldn’t capture the magnitude of what happened.
This was an outcome that a thousand monkeys typing on a thousand typewriters for a thousand years couldn’t script on accident because things like this simply don’t happen. It was the Washington Generals toppling the Harlem Globetrotters, Charlie Brown kicking the football and Dabo Swinney taking a transfer all rolled into one.
In other words, things like this don’t happen in any universe. None but this one, on this beautiful blue marble on this particular Saturday on a field in Nashville that even Saban didn’t take seriously.
Lucky for us, it’s the universe we’re all living in, and we get to go along for the ride.
Jump to:
Army/Navy 5-0
Gift trash talking
Under the radar
Semper five-and-oh
In the fall of 1945, Army and Navy defeated fascism and then both started 5-0 on the football field.
That was the Greatest Generation.
In the fall of 2024, Army and Navy are again 5-0 for the first time in 79 years, making this at least a pretty good generation despite otherwise being ruined by TikTok and avocado toast.
Navy demolished Air Force 34-7 on Saturday, with Blake Horvath rushing for 115 yards and two touchdowns and at least six good “zoomies” taunts at his opposition.
Not to be outdone, Army went to Tulsa and dominated 49-7 behind 250 combined passing and rushing yards and two touchdowns from Bryson Daily. Daily completed all five of his pass attempts, averaging 28 yards per throw, which served as a reminder to people in Michigan that it’s OK to employ the forward pass from time to time.
What does it mean that Army and Navy are off to their best combined start to the season since World War II in the larger scope of international diplomacy? It’s impossible to say at this point, but just to be safe, it’s probably a bad idea to invade Poland in the next few weeks.
A&M gets last laugh
Le’Veon Moss and Amari Daniels combined to run for 172 yards and five touchdowns on 21 carries as Texas A&M routed No. 9 Missouri 41-10 on Saturday.
Missouri QB Brady Cook completed just 13 of 31 passes, an ugly performance somewhat predicted by the gift receiver Theo Wease Jr. received in his hotel room upon arrival in College Station.
Mizzou WR Theo Wease Jr. received this message after arriving to the team hotel in College Station…
“Get used to this blanket … It will be real tomorrow.”
Texas A&M CB Will Lee III is officially the new king of trash talk pic.twitter.com/wVvoJp8zaa
— Unnecessary Roughness (@UnnecRoughness) October 5, 2024
Now, we should point out this is technically a throw, not a blanket. Says so right there on the label. And, as such, Wease did actually haul in Missouri’s only touchdown of the day. Next time, Will Lee should consider a nice duvet cover.
Still, Lee’s gift was an undeniably great bit of smack talk, and we’d like to think more players will follow his lead by leaving gifts for the opposition before the game — a bag of potatoes with a note, “enjoy the sack; there’ll be plenty more tomorrow” or a box of Bisquick with the message “prepare to get pancaked” or a bag of those hint of lime Tostitos. No note with that one. Just impossible not to eat the whole bag, thus leaving your opponent listless and dehydrated for game day. Those are good chips.
Under-the-radar drive of the week
Normally we don’t put a spotlight on a single drive in a game, but this week we felt it necessary to highlight North Carolina’s slow decline into madness.
Leading 7-3 against undefeated Pitt, the Heels ran 19 plays, including two fourth-down conversions, covering 81 yards and chewing up 9:03 of clock.
The result: Squat. Nada. Zilch.
A Jacolby Criswell throw on fourth-and-2 at the Pitt 9 fell incomplete, making it just the second drive of the season of 19 plays or more not to end with points. (Western Kentucky had a 21-play scoreless drive against Alabama, so at least UNC can say it has something in common with Alabama.)
The Heels still had chances to win, but that only served to provide just enough hope to make the inevitable ending — a 34-24 Pitt win — all that much more infuriating for coach Mack Brown, who is approximately one more loss away from ripping off his shirt, shouting incoherently and running into the woods to live with a family of badgers.
On a more positive note, Pitt is 5-0 for the first time since 1991 — a time when Curtis Martin roamed the backfield, Pirates baseball wasn’t a national embarrassment and Barry Bonds’ head didn’t have its own satellites. And Eli Holstein is the first Pitt QB to win his first five career starts since Dan Marino, who would go on to have a successful career as a glove salesman.
Under-the-radar play of the week
Penn State continues to be the Big Ten team that wins every game against non-contending opponents in the least noteworthy way possible after Saturday’s 27-11 dispatching of UCLA. But while the bulk of this game could’ve been scripted in advance like a WWE match, there was one small wrinkle that made the whole affair worthwhile.
The Lions sent 350-pound offensive lineman Olaivavega Ioane in motion, and he delivered by possibly sending UCLA D-lineman Luke Schuermann backward in time.
An offensive lineman in motion is a scary sight 😳
Still not over this hit from @PennStateFball‘s Olaivavega Ioane 🥞😱 pic.twitter.com/M6NN7eoIqY
— FOX College Football (@CFBONFOX) October 5, 2024
The first hit, of course, is monstrous, and that’s the point in which Schuermann’s buddies should be telling him, “Bro, just stay down.” Unfortunately, he ignored the fact that he has an entire family somewhere who cares about him, and he got back up for more.
This was, in many was, a nice microcosm of UCLA’s shift to the Big Ten — a normal dude wrestling an F-350. They’re 1-4 overall, 0-3 in conference, and have led for a grand total of 2:16 this season — the final 56 seconds against Hawaii and 1:30 in the first half against LSU.
The takeaway: LSU is the worst team UCLA has played this year.
Under-the-radar game of the week
In most weeks, watching a game between UConn and Temple would be punishment for shoplifting in some more draconian jurisdictions, but on Saturday, it was actually pretty fun.
There were seven different lead changes in the game, including UConn going up 23-20 with 3:46 to play. Temple, however, had a shot to win it on a fourth-and-goal from the 1-yard line and 3 seconds to play, but Tyler Douglas fumbled on an attempted “Brotherly Shove,” and UConn recovered for a scoop and score.
TEMPLE TRIED THE BROTHERLY SHOVE FOR THE WIN AND THE BALL POPS OUT!! UCONN SCOOP AND SCORE FOR THE WIN!! pic.twitter.com/QMNkSciLGA
— Sickos Committee (@SickosCommittee) October 5, 2024
This is a good reminder to the folks at Temple: You may be located in Philadelphia, but you are not the Philadelphia Eag– what’s that? By 17 to the Bucs, you say? And they’ve lost seven of their last 10? Ah. Well then. Carry on, Temple.
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